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Will Gemini Break Your Heart? Our Horoscope Compatibility Guide

Catherine Pun — Sun, 21 Apr 2024 22:00:45 +0000

Our beginner’s guide to horoscope compatibility looks through elements, planetary rulers and the ideal zodiac pairings.

When it comes to love, the stars can totally unlock the secrets of your heart. Our horoscope compatibility guide will give you the cosmic intel to analyse your bond with that special someone. We’ll break down the elements that shape each sign and decode the ruling planets so you can handle relationships like a pro astrologer. But the real fun part? We’re getting into the 6 most compatible pairings that seem practically destined by the universe. From opposites attracting to cosmic soulmates, we’ve got the deets on which signs have undeniable celestial chemistry.

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Horoscope Compatibility: Elements
Horoscope Compatibility: Planets
Horoscope Compatibility: The 6 Most Harmonious Matches

Horoscope Compatibility: Elements

Astrologers say the secret to finding your perfect cosmic match lies in the elements – those fundamental forces of nature that shape our personalities and love languages. Checking out each zodiac sign’s elements is one of the easiest ways to unlock horoscope compatibility.

The four celestial elements – fire, water, earth, and air – each rule over distinct traits that can mesh effortlessly for some pairs…or combust in spectacular fashion for others! Whether you’re a fiery fire sign, an emotional water sign, a whimsical air sign or a nurturing earthy soul, understanding your element is crucial for manifesting that dream romance. So let’s dive into reading those elemental vibes, shall we?

Fire signs (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) are known for their passionate nature and wild spirits that ignite romances with their fiery energy. These zodiac signs bring the heat, but like an uncontrolled flame, they can go from sizzling to scorched earth in a flash if their fire isn’t fuelled regularly. That’s where air signs like Geminis, Libras, and Aquarians come in. These matches fan the flames of fire signs with their fresh inspiration and intellectual spark. Their adventurous spirit and stimulating conversations keep the fire signs’ desires burning brightly.
Earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) offer the grounded and down-to-earth foundation that any partnership needs to truly thrive, as these nurturing lovers value stability and seek security in their connections. However, the deep sensibilities of water signs like Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces can shake up an earth sign’s familiar grooves, but by remaining open to the tidal flow of water signs, their sensitivity can help earth signs blossom and grow.
Water signs (Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces) are deeply connected to their emotions and possess strong intuition. Water signs find the greatest compatibility with other water signs, as they understand and resonate with each other’s emotional depths. Additionally, water signs harmonise well with earth signs, who provide the nurturing foundation that allows a water sign’s sensitivity to safely blossom.
And air signs (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) are like the winds, always blowing in new ideas and perspectives into any relationship. Air signs vibe best with fellow air signs, sparking off each other’s free-flowing, non-committal energy. They also pair well with fire signs, as the air continually fuels the flames of creativity. Though heads up – an air sign’s restless spirit and flaky ways can torch even the strongest bond if paired with a sign that demands constant attention.

Horoscope Compatibility: Planets

If you’re ready to take your relationship intel to the next cosmic level, it’s time to dig deeper than just your zodiac signs (sun signs). Your sun sign may show your core essence, but your full birth chart is the map to your complete celestial DNA. Hit up astro-charts.com, plug in your exact birth details, and unlock the secrets of your planetary profile. From there, you can start comparing placements with your S.O. to see your true compatibility. If your chart qualities and elements sync up, you’re likely a harmonious match made in the heavens. But if the signs clash big time, that’s where issues can arise. Here are the key planets to analyse:

Your Moon sign governs your emotional world, spilling the tea on how you connect on a heart level and nurture your inner circle. When it comes to love, Moon sign chemistry can be make-or-break for finding a partner who just gets you on a soul level. If your Moon signs sync up, it creates an intuitive understanding and safe space to bare your true feelings.
Your natal Venus sign is akin to your astrological eros, determining the types of partners who ignite your passions. Understanding your love language allows you to decode who truly lights up your heart’s deepest yearnings and invites the perfect kind of ravishing into your boudoir.
When it’s time to take action and pursue your desires, the planet Mars becomes your cosmic ally. This celestial warrior governs your energy, drive and sexual expression, ultimately revealing what or who lights your fire in life.
If you’re seeking a love that stands the test of time, it’s time to focus on the influence of Saturn. While not as passionate as Venus or Mars, Saturn holds the key to building relationships that endure. Your Saturn sign unveils the valuable lessons you need to learn in love, from establishing healthy boundaries to putting in the necessary effort for a deep and meaningful connection.

Horoscope Compatibility: The 6 Most Harmonious Matches

As mentioned above, horoscope compatibility is way more intricate than just your sun sign – but if you’re in the flirtatious first few dates and don’t have their full birth deets yet, check if you and your crush fall into one of these harmonious pairings. While the full scoop requires a complete natal chart reading, these six zodiac duos have an inherent chemistry that could kickstart some serious sparks.

Leo (22 July–21 August) & Libra (22 September–21 October)

When a Leo and Libra lock eyes from across the room, it’s practically love at first sight – these two were cosmically made for each other! Leos crave attention, and no sign flatters and woos quite like the charming Libra. Together, they’ll bask in the spotlight, going on glamorous dates and dressing to the nines, soaking up all the admiring looks. Swoon! Behind closed doors, things only get steamier as Leo’s theatrics meet Libra’s graceful moves. Just watch out for the occasional diva duel when they both demand the starring role!

Taurus (19 April–19 May) & Scorpio (22 October–20 November)

Taurus and Scorpio? Now that’s a recipe for some serious sparks. As a Venus-ruled sign, Taurus digs Scorpio’s sensual side and passion, while the mystic water sign is all about the Bull’s steady nature and security. These two share a taste for pleasure, so expect wine-and-dine dates straight out of a romance novel. Though it may take some time to peel back each other’s layers, this pair soon settles into total relationship bliss. And with both signs pushing each other to be their best selves in and out of the bedroom, fights are rare once they click.

Virgo (22 August–21 September) & Pisces (19 February–19 March)

At first glance, Virgo and Pisces seem like total opposites – but that’s exactly why they make such a great match! Down-to-earth Virgo brings much-needed structure and stability to dreamy Pisces’ world, helping give some shape to all those creative ideas floating around in the Fish’s mind. And Pisces’ emotional depth and empathy can draw out Virgo’s sensitive side, getting the usually analytical Virgin to tap into their feelings. While their contrasting natures may lead to the occasional communication hiccup, these two really vibe on their shared desire to help and understand one another. With Virgo’s natural teaching skills and Pisces’ endless devotion, this odd couple has the makings of a harmonious lifelong bond.

Gemini (20 May–19 June) & Sagittarius (21 November–20 December)

When carefree Gemini crosses paths with adventurous Sagittarius, it’s like the universe just handed them a license for pure mayhem! Both these signs thrive on spontaneity – Gemini’s many personalities keep things fresh while Sag’s eternal quest for new experiences never gets dull. Get ready for random 3am chats that spark cross-country road trips, surprise skydiving adventures to feed their adrenaline addiction, and late-night convos revealing unexpected dimensions. But heads up for potential ghosting games when commitment phobia hits and one vamooses. The key is finding new ways to fulfil each other’s passions and keep the spark alive. If they can mix it up while fueling their need for adventure, these cosmic thrill-seekers could totally go the distance!

Cancer (20 June–21 July) & Capricorn (21 December–19 January)

On paper, the intuitive Cancer and logical Capricorn might seem like an unlikely match. But when these two come together, it creates the perfect yin and yang balance of flowing emotion and solid structure. Cancer’s healing vibes find grounding in Cap’s wisdom, as the Crab feels safe to open up with their reliable partner. And Capricorn finds inspiration in Cancer’s expressiveness, learning to get in touch with their own feelings. Though it may take effort to navigate each other’s ‘love languages’ – with Cancer wanting sentimental gestures and Cap preferring acts of duty – this pairing is built to last.

Read More: How To Date With Ease

Aries (20 March–18 April) & Aquarius (20 January–18 February)

This daring duo is always down to try new things, whether hitting up unexplored spots or getting experimental between the sheets. Their shared zest for life creates mad chemistry that keeps the sparks crackling, even when some pairs start to fizzle out. Both these independent signs value their alone time, so they don’t crowd each other. But at the end of the day, they reconnect to swap stories from their separate adventures and vibe on their mutual weirdness.

The post Will Gemini Break Your Heart? Our Horoscope Compatibility Guide appeared first on Sassy Hong Kong.

20+ Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas Your S.O. Will Love

Team Sassy — Wed, 17 Jan 2024 22:00:24 +0000

Here are the best Valentine’s Day gift ideas, available to shop in Hong Kong — from quilted heart-shaped crossbody bags to rose-scented body oils, boardgames for couples and more.

Looking for gift ideas that will make your Valentine’s day? Whether you’re looking to spoil your romantic partner, help pick out a present for a loved one or want to treat your best galentines (or maybe you’re shopping for yourself, we won’t judge!), you’ve come to the right place. From lovely scented candles and pretty blushes to gorgeous flower bouquets, local jewellery and sweet treats, here are 20+ Valentine’s Day gift ideas that we’re confident your S.O. will love.

Grace & Favour HK, Valentine’s Day Roses, From $1,680

Say I love you with roses or, even better, premium Ecuadorian rose bouquets and rose boxes from award-winning florist Grace & Favour HK, This is what we’re eyeing to gift to our significant others this Valentine’s Day! The roses, prized for their large bud sizes and longevity, are flown in directly from partner farms and arranged by hand by internationally certified florists. Choose to pick up your Valentine’s Day roses in-store, or enjoy hassle-free delivery to your door.

Better Than Flowers, Personalised Gift Box, From $199

We love this super cute and hassle-free gifting idea — a fully customisable gift box full of sweet treats and trinkets, complete with a personalised card, delivered directly to your sweetheart’s door. Opt for a Balloon or Surprise Box, then choose from over 100 items including goodies from homegrown brands (like Conspiracy Chocolate and Tiny Island!), fun accessories, scented candles, artisanal soaps and more. Finally, all that’s left to do is sit back and relax while Better Than Flowers takes care of the rest!

Use promo code “loveisintheair” to take 15% off your Balloon or Surprise Box. Offer valid until Tuesday, 13 February, 2024.

The Cakery, I Heart You Cake, $598

Available from 20 January, 2024, with pick up from January 22 to February 15.

Read More: The Best Cake Shops In Hong Kong

Jo Malone, Rose Amber Cologne, $950

Free People, Wild At Heart Set, $1,783

Read More: Top Fashion Websites With Free Shipping

Loveramics, Willow Love Story Plate Set Of 4, $399

Charles & Keith, Philomena Quilted Heart Crossbody Bag, $439

Tarte, Maneater After Dark Eyeshadow Palette, $455

Read More: New Seasonal Beauty Buys

The Floristry, Rose Infused Bath & Body Oil, $220

ANAPHE, Effortless Silk Skirt – Cherry Lacquer, $1,400

Cath Kidston, Love Budgies Salt & Pepper Shakers, $261

Sydney Evan, Peace Heart 14-Karat Gold Multi-Stone Bracelet, $6,255

Roksaan, Customisable Valentine’s Day Card, From $59

Roberta India, LOVE Skateboard Triptych, $6,188

LUSH, Rose Argan Massage Bar, $160

Charmaine Studios, Heart Envelopes, $138

CASETiFY, The Red Case (Regional Exclusive), $469

Urban Renewal, Remade Bleached Heart Oversized Sweater, $547

We’re Not Really Strangers, Couples Edition Card Game, $20 USD

AppleDoll True Love Blush, $175

Diptyque, Baies (Berries) And Roses Duo – Classic Candles, $1,200

If you still haven’t found what you’re looking for, head to our main gift guide landing page.

Editor’s Note: All listed prices were correct at the time of publication.

The post 20+ Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas Your S.O. Will Love appeared first on Sassy Hong Kong.

The 12 Dates Of Christmas: Festive Dating Inspo

Caroline Jones — Thu, 14 Dec 2023 22:01:09 +0000

It’s time to get romantic this festive season!

With so much going on in the lead up to Christmas and New Year’s, it’s all too easy to lose sight of the important things and not take time out of our everyday routines to appreciate our other halves (or besties!). So, with that in mind, we’ve decided to implement the 12 Dates Of Christmas to make sure we fit in some quality couple time at what is usually a very busy stretch of the year. We’ve come up with some suggestions to get you started, but the idea is that these 12 Dates Of Christmas don’t cost the earth. So, we’ve tried to make it as cheap and cheerful as possible (with a bit of imagination, you could even plan all your activities for free!). Keep scrolling for more…

1. Pine-ing For You

There’s no better way to kick off the festive season than by choosing a Christmas tree. It’s not always possible to squish the six-foot pine of your dreams into your Hong Kong flat, so you may need to temper your expectations. If you don’t know where to start looking, head to The Flower Market for a browse. You’ll find all sizes of real and artificial trees there (and may even pick up some decorations while you’re at it). Once you’ve bought your tree, bring it back and decorate it together while enjoying a glass or two of mulled wine or hot chocolate. Don’t forget to have some Christmas tunes playing in the background to really get you in the mood. Everybody now… “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas!”

2. Spice Things Up

We love a challenge here at Sassy HQ and think that dates with a competitive edge are always a winner. That’s why we will be introducing a “Ready, Steady, Cook” as one of our 12 Dates Of Christmas. You and your partner decide which one of you will be on main course duty and which one will be in charge of dessert. If you are taking on the main, your partner will pick out three ingredients that you need to include in your dish, and then you will pick out three ingredients that your partner needs to include in their dessert (or vice versa). You can either let each other know in advance what ingredients you have chosen (so you can make sure you have everything else you need to complete your meal in stock), or you can make it harder by only revealing them just before you have to start cooking. Make it more challenging by setting a time limit. Either way, at the end of it you should both get to sit down and enjoy a candlelit two-course, home-cooked dinner. And if all goes wrong, there’s always takeaway!

Sassy Tip: Check out our recipes for inspiration!

3. Happy Trails

Plan a hike up Mount High West on a clear day so you reach its peak in time for sunset. There are plenty of steps to climb en route, but for your efforts, you’ll be rewarded with amazing 360-degree views of the city below. It’s around a 3km hike from Kennedy Town, which takes you through Lung Fu Shan Country Park. You might want to pack a craft beer to sip on at the top as you take in the sights and catch your breath. Don’t forget to bring your phone or a camera as you’ll definitely want to take a couple of selfies. To mix things up on the hike down, head back via Lugard Road and the Morning Trail. If you’re too tired or if you lingered over that beer a little too long and it’s getting dark, you can always catch a taxi at The Peak to deposit you back into Central.

4. Catch A Flick

We couldn’t have a 12 Dates Of Christmas list without including a Christmas movie night. You can either both pick one festive-themed movie each and do a back-to-back viewing session or toss a coin to see which one of you gets to pick the film. We can never pass up “Love Actually” at this time of year, but the choice is yours (depending on what you can find on Netflix!). All you need to complete your night is some popcorn and drinks. Then just cuddle up and wait for the feel-good factor to kick in!

5. Long Walks On The Promenade

If, like us, you can’t help but marvel at Hong Kong’s skyline every time you see it lit up, then this is a date that will definitely appeal. Pack a picnic (a stop at M&S should help up your drink and snack game!) and take yourself off to the Art Park in West Kowloon Cultural District. Make sure you time your trip so that you arrive before dark and can eat your goodies as the sun goes down. All you need to do is pick a spot on the grass by the Waterfront Promenade, throw down a blanket and enjoy the views looking over Victoria Harbour to Hong Kong Island.

6. Music To My Ears

If you’re looking for a daytime date idea and are a fan of vinyl records, then take a trip on the MTR and while away some hours popping in and out of the record shops in Shek Kip Mei, Sham Shui Po and Prince Edward. It’s sure to spark up some conversations about your musical tastes and you may even end up making some purchases or finding a hidden gem! You’ll also find plenty of coffee shops around to call into when you need a pitstop.

7. A Glamping Adventure

Staycations are so 2020. This Christmas, why not try your hand at glamping instead? Encompassing all the fun of sleeping under the stars but with a comfortable bed instead of a sleeping bag, it’s the ideal middle ground. Head here for our ultimate guide to glamping in Hong Kong.

8. One-On-One

Our 12 Dates Of Christmas definitely includes a games day. Head to the top floor of the Dragon Centre in Sham Shui Po and prepare to be transported back to the past. They have a great selection of Western and Asian arcade games to play and, in our experience, it’s never too busy. Or if you prefer board games to arcade games, make your way to Wheat and Wood in Kennedy Town. There’s an amazing collection of board games to choose from and you can order drinks and snacks while you’re there! Or if you’ve got a good game collection at home, a cosy night in works too!

9. A Quick Romantic Getaway

Take a day trip together. There’s no shortage of islands you can visit here in Hong Kong and one of our favourites is Cheung Chau. Waste no time on the way there by taking the fast ferry from Pier 5 in Central, which takes around 35 minutes. Spend the day pottering around and take a leisurely hike up to North Lookout Pavilion for some good views. If you’d rather see the island on two wheels, you can easily hire a bike there. Make sure you refuel while you’re there at one of the many Cantonese restaurants, where seafood is a speciality. Take the slow ferry back at sundown (which takes around an hour) and pay a bit extra for the deluxe class, which gives you access upstairs and to the outside deck!

10. All Bubbly Inside

Another way to soak up the sights of the city (and a great chilled date idea) is to plan a night of beers or bubble tea by the bay! Make a pit stop at one of the city’s best craft beer vendors to pick up some brews or one of our favourite bubble tea spots for some boba and bring it with you. Then decide which waterfront to hit up for a stroll and a spot of people watching. You’ll likely find us at either Central Ferry Piers, Quarry Bay Park or the waterfront at Kennedy Town, Sai Wan Ho or TST.

11. To The Moon And Back

For a spot of culture, we recommend a museum date. Head to M+ for a spot of culture, and don’t miss the opportunity to take plenty of photos for the ‘Gram while you’re there — the architecture is stunning! We’re also big fans of the Hong Kong Space Museum. Bring out your inner geek by having a go at “Gravity Surfing” together and pose for a photo inside a Re-Entry Capsule.

Read More: The Best Museums In Hong Kong

12. Cheers To Us!

For the last date, you may as well push the boat out and treat yourselves to a fancy cocktail or mocktail at one of the city’s rooftop bars. Get dressed up for the occasion and make a night of it. To add a surprise element, why not pick each other’s cocktails? You may find you end up sampling more than one or two tipples on the menu.

Editor’s Note: “The 12 Dates Of Christmas: Festive Dating Inspo” was most recently updated in December, 2023 by Team Sassy.

The post The 12 Dates Of Christmas: Festive Dating Inspo appeared first on Sassy Hong Kong.

How To Break The Cycle Of Relationship Burnout

Nathalie Sommer — Tue, 21 Nov 2023 22:00:54 +0000

A Relationship and Intimacy Coach shares how to beat relationship burnout…

Is the spark in your relationship dying out? Has curiosity turned into contentment? Do you feel like something is missing? Or do you often find yourself lashing out at your partner because you’re irritable and annoyed? If you’re nodding your head at all of the above, then you may be experiencing relationship burnout.

Relationship burnout often creeps up on us. Whether you’ve been married for 10 years or have been dating for a few months, it’s a common occurrence. But burnout doesn’t mean it’s over! It just means that your relationship is calling out for some TLC – and possibly you are too. There are many reasons why we experience relationship burnout. Ahead, we dig deeper into the issue and what we can do to beat it.

Read More: How To Manage Sexual Frustration

Healing Starts With The Self

Being aware that you’re stretched thin or feeling disconnected from your partner can help you take the necessary steps to reassess your own needs. The way to do this is to start focusing your energy on yourself, namely by looking at your own emotional needs and how to fill your cup (instead of being an empty cup that constantly needs to be filled). That way, you’ll have something to bring to the relationship rather than feeling depleted all the time.

Relationship burnout often occurs when one or both halves of a couple put too much energy into the relationship, and get little or nothing in return (which eventually becomes exhausting).

I also encourage you to take some time to hit the reset button and look at where things have gone wrong. Ask yourself the questions: Why do I feel relationship fatigue? When did it start, and where am I responsible? What’s the learning? Once you’ve got some answers, then take the necessary steps for yourself to rewire and fill your cup. When you’re able to come from a place of inner joy, peace, calm and confidence, sit down with your partner and explain to them what your needs are and what you can give, and vice versa.

Letting Go Of Control

Many people struggle to trust others to lead. Fear of letting go is at the root of wanting to always be in control. Here’s the thing, it makes us rigid, constrained and always on guard – leading to burnout in relationships.

Deep down inside, we do not have a fundamental belief that we’ll be okay no matter what (we’re worried that others mess up and things won’t turn out ok). We hold onto this label of control dearly, which leaves us feeling fatigued and leads to resentment. We need to know that the only thing we can control is ourselves, our actions and our choices.

Here are some tips on how you can let go of control:

Journal the answers to these questions: Where do I need to let go of control? Where can I trust more and surrender more (in myself and others)? See if you notice a pattern.

Be aware of moments when you’re holding on to control, then change the behaviour. Notice how it feels and see what happens. I also recommend reading the book, Receiving Love. If you’re still struggling, consider speaking with a therapist to help you examine your core beliefs. This way you can get to the bottom of that fear and reframe it, and start living in freedom, regaining your energy.

Identify your support structures and delegate to them by inviting them in and asking for help. Your family members, friends – and yes, even your partner – should be capable of providing support. It’s time to trust and let go of the control that’s causing burnout.

Creating A Healthy Space

Relationship fatigue can sneak in when we fail to recognise or respect the need to have time to ourselves. Healthy relationships need a mix of togetherness and separateness. Too much closeness leads to burnout and relationship fatigue. Conversely, too much separation leads to breakdown, disappointment and distance.

A healthy amount of space is essential for all kinds of relationships, from friends to family, children and particularly intimate relationships.

It’s time to think of ways we can spend quality time together versus being together whenever we can and not entirely enjoying each other’s company. For example, spend time in separate rooms or doing different things. But then plan to come together to have dinner, go for a walk together or schedule 30 minutes before bedtime to consciously connect (with no phones).

Bringing The Spark Back

If someone ignores your emotional needs or constantly belittles and controls you, the spark that once made you fall in love with them may fade away. The lack of emotional support and trust can take a toll on your desire to have sex with your partner. Without communication and affection, intimacy of any kind can become a challenge.

To keep the spark alive, we need desire. Desire is the antidote to boredom in a relationship. Without desire, you’ll find yourself getting irritated more, becoming needy, arguing, losing your sense of self, and losing the excitement you once had for the very person you’ve chosen to be with the most.

A great way to ignite desire in the bedroom is to create space, as I’ve mentioned above. But also when you come together (pun intended), to speak each other’s Eros language and keep the fire going. It’s essential to understand your partner’s pathway to desire and the erotic language they speak. Because if we don’t feed each other in our desires, the spark will inevitably diminish. You can your partner can take this quiz to help you discover each other’s erotic language and pathways to deeper intimacy.

Mutually Agree To Work On Healing Together

As important as it is to work on yourself individually, it’s also important to work together as a team. But you both need to mutually agree to work on your relationship if you’re going to beat burnout together. For example, you can plan to spend some quality time together and create nourishing rituals like having coffee together in the morning, meditating together or practising yoga.

Do things that are fun and easy; things that bring back the playfulness in your relationship (think of things that you did when you first started dating). Working together as partners and knowing you’re in this together can develop a sense of connection and stability that’s essential to ending the relationship burnout cycle.

The post How To Break The Cycle Of Relationship Burnout appeared first on Sassy Hong Kong.

Everything You Need To Know About Egg Freezing In Hong Kong

Jessica Mizzi — Tue, 07 Nov 2023 22:01:01 +0000

Chances are you have at least one friend considering egg freezing in Hong Kong. Maybe you are as well? Here’s what you need to know before putting those baby plans on ice.

We ladies have enough going on day to day to worry about that biological clock! But, it does seem that no matter what, society pushes us (gently or otherwise), through the same predictable steps — through the dating game, on towards marriage (if that’s your jam!) and next thing you know it seems like everyone is enquiring about the state of your ovaries. Whether you definitely know kids are on the cards, or merely a faint possibility in the future, it’s only natural to consider your options when it comes to fertility and egg freezing.

Editor’s Note: All advice is general. For the most accurate and up-to-date information consult your doctor or fertility specialist.

Why Do Women Freeze Their Eggs?

We may as well ask how long is a piece of string? At a most basic level, it’s obvious, to delay having children. Having said that, each woman will have their reasons based on their individual circumstances. Maybe she wants a reserve just in case. Perhaps she was diagnosed with a medical condition that is known to impact fertility. She could be career focused or knows deep down she wants a family but hasn’t met the right person yet. The list is as infinite as the number of women in the world.

Is It Legal To Freeze Your Eggs In Hong Kong?

Yes! But…

Whether it’s for medical reasons or personal choice, the good news is that egg freezing in Hong Kong is legal. However, there are rules set out by the Council on Human Reproductive Technology around when you can use those eggs. Some of the rules include:

You must be legally married — particularly important for those in same-sex relationships
You can store your eggs for up to 10 years, or until you turn 55 (whichever comes first)

If you do end up considering sperm donation to create embyros, then you’ll also need to consider the legalities of the birth certificate and rights of that child.

Read More: How To Love Your Vulva

What Is The Process For Freezing Your Eggs In Hong Kong?

Essentially you will follow the first few steps of IVF. You’ll then hit pause on the process while your eggs are on ice, before picking it up again when you decide to try to fertilise your eggs and implant your embryos.

The process takes around two weeks, starting at the beginning of your menstrual cycle. First up you’ll take medication to stimulate your ovaries, essentially tricking them into producing a large number of eggs.

Your doctor will advise when you should take some final injections to trigger ovulation, and then you’ll undergo a minor surgical procedure (which is still surgery!) to collect as many eggs as possible.

If you’re not fertilising your eggs immediately, they will then be frozen and stored.

Hopefully, once will be enough, but there is a chance your doctor will recommend another round of egg collection.

How Expensive Is Egg Freezing In Hong Kong?

If there’s one thing we know about the private Hong Kong medical system it is that it sure isn’t cheap! For an accurate price you’ll need to consult your fertility clinic and ask for a full lists of the costs. This should itemise everything from doctor’s consult fees (and how many you will need), exploratory blood tests and medications as well as the cost for the actual procedure and storage. Expect to pay at least $100,000 for one cycle of egg collection and storage for a year. Then there will be ongoing storage costs and costs for IVF if you choose to pursue that path.

What Happens Next? Storing Or Using Your Eggs

Well that, my friend, is up to you. You might meet the love of your life and fall pregnant naturally, never needing that back up plan. But it could be that life throws you some curveballs along the way and those eggs you stored become the ace up your sleeve.

Important Things To Consider Before Freezing Your Eggs In Hong Kong

Are you planning on staying in Hong Kong. Frozen eggs are extremely fragile and therefore expensive and risky to transport. What will you do if you move overseas? Likewise, what will you do if you don’t plan on marrying your partner, or decide to pursue single-parenthood?
A baby is not guaranteed. Just because you have frozen your eggs does not mean you will definitely get your baby. The Women’s Clinic has some great resources explaining the stats around embryo creation and live births from frozen eggs.
Your age. We’ve all heard the stats, a women’s fertility steadily declines in her early 30s before essentially falling off a cliff later. If you are pursuing the process later in life then you may need more rounds of egg collection (but you’ll presumably have less storage fees).

Ultimately, this is a big decision, but also only one that you can make. Do your research. Talk to your doctors. The best thing that you can do is go into the process as informed as you can be.

Additional Resources And Clinics For Egg Freezing In Hong Kong

Council on Human Reproductive Technology — Not a user-site, but a wealth of information. www.chrt.org.hk
IVF Hong Kong — The Assisted Reproductive Technology Unit of the Chinese University of Hong Kong. www.ivfhk.com
Union Hospital Reproductive Medical Centre — Run from the hospital in Sha Tin and the medical centre in Tsim Sha Tsui. www.ivfhongkong.com
Hong Kong Assisted Reproduction Centre — Central, Hong Kong. www.hkarc.com.hk
Hong Kong IVF Centre — Tsim Sha Tsui, Kowloon. www.hkivf.com
Hong Kong Reproductive Medical Centre — Tsim Sha Tsui, Kowloon. www.fertility.com.hk
IVF Centre — Hong Kong Sanatorium & Hospital, Hong Kong. www.hksh.com
ProlIVFic A.R.T. Centre — Central, Hong Kong. www.pivf.com.hk
The IVF Clinic at The Women’s Clinic — Central, Hong Kong. www.thewomensclinic.com.hk

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The Best Sex Shops & Adult Stores In Hong Kong: Sex Toys And More

Team Sassy — Tue, 05 Sep 2023 22:00:50 +0000

Looking for sex toys, lingerie or props to spice up your sex life? Here’s where to find the best sex shops and adult stores in Hong Kong.

Sometimes you need a bit of help to keep things interesting in the bedroom. Luckily, there are enough adult sex shops dotted around the city that every fantasy can be fulfilled. Stocking everything from organic lubricants and sex toy sets to body jewellery and lacy lingerie, here’s our pick of the best sex shops and adult stores in Hong Kong (online and physical) to get you in the mood.

LEXY – Over 5,000 trendy sex toys and accessories at your fingertips

If you haven’t heard of LEXY yet, you’re missing out! This Hong Kong-based online adult toy store is home to over 5,000 high-quality sex toys and accessories including popular vibrators and masturbators (by the likes of Womanizer, We-Vibe and Arcwave) lacy lingerie, BDSM sets and more fun stuff. There are often special deals and promotions running on the site so it’s worth checking in every now and then when you’re in the mood. Enjoy free SF delivery on orders over $300 and same-day express door-to-door shipping from Monday to Saturday (order before 4pm).

Use our exclusive promo code LE-SASSY-85 to enjoy 15% off on all regular-priced items from LEXY’s online store.

LEXY, WhatsApp: 9727 6428, Facebook: LEXY, Instagram: @lexy.hk, lexy.com.hk

Wanta – Sex toy sets, lingerie and S&M items

Small and intimate, you wouldn’t expect to find a whole treasure trove of adult products inside this sex shop. There’s no need to feel overwhelmed though as Wanta offers professional demos on an array of its products, which includes everything from fancy massagers to S&M items, sex toys and lingerie. The shop also stocks items such as pheromone-enhancing body lotions and a sex toy set designed for couples in long-distance relationships.

Wanta, 2/F, 28 Russell Street, Causeway Bay, Hong Kong, 6468 8081, www.wanta.net

Sally’s Toy by Sally Coco – High-end sex toys, fetish wear and more

This approachable intimate lifestyle shop is sure to make you feel at ease and will pique your curiosity as soon you enter the space. Founded by local couple Vera and Picco, Sally’s Toy is a female-friendly brand that sells knowledge first and high-end products second. We love Sally’s for its collection of menstrual care products, sex toys, luxurious lingerie and fetish wear for all genders.

Sally’s Toy (Central), Room 302, 3/F, Winning House, 10-16 Cochrane Street, Central, Hong Kong, 2110 0205
Sally’s Toy (Tsim Sha Tsui), Unit B, 2/F, Kam Ma Building, 16 Cameron Road, Tsim Sha Tsui, Kowloon, Hong Kong, 2110 1733, www.sallystoy.com

Waddy Store – Sexual wellbeing shop selling high-quality adult toys

With two conveniently located stores in Kowloon and on Hong Kong Island, Waddy Store is a great spot to browse the latest sex toys at competitive prices. The sexual wellbeing shop also offers sexual wellness advice on its online site and speedily delivers products across the city in discreet boxes.

Waddy Store (Causeway Bay), 1/F, 541 Lockhart Road, Causeway Bay, Hong Kong
Waddy Store (Tsim Sha Tsui), Store 122, 1/F, Solo, 41-43 Carnarvon Road, Tsim Sha Tsui, Hong Kong, 5743 8289, www.waddystore.com

Omakase Toy – Japanese sex toys, organic lubricants and more

In true Japanese omakase fashion, you can trust this shop to provide a curated selection of the finest Japanese sex toys and intimate products out there. Omasake Toy carries all the essentials for both solo and couple use, including organic lubricants, luxe vibrators and other easy-to-use sex toys. If you’re in a rush and are ordering online, you can opt for your items to be delivered in as quick as four hours!

Omakase Toy, various locations across Hong Kong, WhatsApp: 5419 4065, www.omakasetoy.com

Take Toys – Sex toys, lubricants and love dolls

Take Toys is the city’s first “sex product supermarket” franchise and has 14 locations across Hong Kong. It prides itself on being at the forefront of the local market and one of the largest sex shops in Hong Kong. Online orders made before 4pm are delivered on the same day, and the stores are all open till midnight.

Take Toys, various locations across Hong Kong, taketoys.hk

Joyful Night – BDSM toys, lingerie and more

Joyful Night was founded by a local Hong Kong YouTuber, Cindy Yeung, who was also an ex-contestant of Miss Hong Kong 2012. On her YouTube channel, Cindy gives tips on how to increase pleasure through different sex toys. Her shops offer a wide range of adult goods from Japan and overseas for both genders, including vibrators, lubricating oils, lingerie and more.

Joyful Night (Sin Tat Plaza), Shop 58, 2/F, Sin Tat Plaza, 83 Argyle Street, Mong Kok, Kowloon, Hong Kong
Joyful Night (Sino Centre), Shop 48, B/F, Sino Centre, 582-592 Nathan Road, Mong Kok, Kowloon, Hong Kong, WhatsApp: 6728 2159, www.joyful-night.com

Pleasure Point – Sex toys, stimulation serums, lingerie and more

Pleasure Point positions itself as a gathering point for people interested in exploring their sexuality. While the online store offers a great selection of sex toys, stimulation serums and accessories to play around with, it’s worth visiting the Mong Kok or Causeway Bay store where the staff are happy to share their sexual health knowledge and sexual pleasure advice.

Pleasure Point (Mong Kok), Room 2101, Pakpolee Commercial Centre, 1A Sai Yeung Choi Street South, Mong Kok, Kowloon, Hong Kong, 9069 0717
Pleasure Point (Causeway Bay), Po Foo Building, 1-5 Foo Ming Street, Causeway Bay, Hong Kong, 5744 7779, pleasurepoint.store

Loveshop – A wide range of Japanese sex products (and wine!)

Aptly named and affordable, Loveshop specialises in all things Japanese. What sets Loveshop apart from other sex shops is its 2,000 square foot space decorated with adult video star look-a-like love dolls. It may be a lot to take in at first, but you’ll find that this sex shop stocks all the essentials and more (it also moonlights as a wine shop!) — and at great prices too.

Loveshop, Room 601B, 6/F, Cheong Hing Building, 72 Nathan Road, Tsim Sha Tsui, Kowloon, Hong Kong, WhatsApp: 5664 7638, www.loveshop.com.hk

Salty Corner – Stimulators, harnesses, innovative toys and more

Salty Corner collects a variety of innovative and high-quality sex toys from all corners of the world, stocking well-known brands from the US, Europe, Japan and Taiwan. Catering to all fantasies and fetishes, you will find everything from nipple stimulators to flavoured lubricants, harnesses and so much more.

Salty Corner, Room D, 2/F, Sun Kai Mansion, 38 Hennessy Road, Wan Chai, Hong Kong, WhatsApp: 5500 0608, saltycorner.com

Other Online Sex Shops That Deliver To Hong Kong

Adam & Eve – An all-inclusive company spotlighting sex toys for gay and lesbian couples and more. www.adameve.com
Fun Garden – Hong Kong-based online intimate lifestyle store stocking sex toys that both feel good and are good for your body. www.fungarden.com.hk
Avec Amour Lingerie – Premium lingerie, body jewellery and leather bondage pieces. avecamourlingerie.com
Lovesations – An online Dutch brand made by women for women selling sex toys, bedroom accessories and more. www.lovesations.nl

Editor’s Note: “The Best Sex Shops & Adult Stores In Hong Kong: Sex Toys And More” was most recently updated by Team Sassy in September 2023. With thanks to Sarah Richard, Inés Fung and Nathalie Sommer for their contributions.

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Hong Kong Dating Stories: Long-Distance Relationships

Sakina Abidi — Mon, 21 Aug 2023 22:00:30 +0000

In our fourth instalment, we asked Hongkongers about long-distance relationships — and all the trials, tribulations and successes that have come with them!

Ah, long-distance relationships! A circumstance where romantic partners are geographically separated from each other for a length of time and for any reason. In our latest instalment, we asked Hongkongers for their thoughts on LDRs — here’s what they had to say.

As a smaller city-region territory, it’s not surprising that many Hongkongers have found a significant other outside of our seven million at-home population. Just within our team alone, some of our editors were the ones new to the city or have partners who are considerably new-er to Hong Kong, whether they landed here because of higher education, work opportunities or family.

Now, Google the words “long distance” and the first page of results will likely pull up various headlines that start with the words “how to survive” or “making it work”. It’s true that in today’s age, we have phones and the internet ready at hand, making things like instant messaging and video calling a total breeze. But relationships where you’re physically apart certainly come with their challenges!

We asked five individuals about long-distance relationships. Here’s what they said…

Fenela, 20, is a Filipina Hongkonger. She’s been in one long-distance relationship which started when she was 18. She lives in Hong Kong and her partner had an exchange programme that took him to Rimini, Italy, where he now studies. They’ve been apart for a year — and it’s uncertain when they’ll see each other again. The end goal is to live somewhere in Europe together.

PC, 26, is a Chinese Hongkonger. She met her significant other in Scotland, where he was raised, and they’ve been dating for exactly “4 years, 2 months, 20 days”. The relationship has been long-distance since December of last year when she took up a job in Hong Kong. The end goal is to reunite in Hong Kong next year.

Abee, 26 is a Filipina Hongkonger. She’s been with her boyfriend, Z, for about four years. He lives in Macau and she resides here in Hong Kong. Pre-pandemic, they would alternate on who would cross the border during the weekends. The setup was “actually perfect” for them until COVID forced borders to close for about three years, and they couldn’t see each other at all! The end goal is, of course, to be together in the same city.

A, 26, is an Indian Hongkonger. She met her husband in high school and they’ve been together for 11 years. She lives in Hong Kong and her husband lives in Singapore, previously she used to live in London while he was in Singapore. They’re currently long-distance and have been for seven years; they try and see each other once every three months, aiming to spend at least a week together each time. The couple is working towards reuniting within a year.

Kim, 30, is a Filipina. She’s been married for over a year and she and her husband are both based in Hong Kong now. They first met in 2013 when she was doing an exchange student programme at his university in the United States. They dated for nine years before getting married and were mostly long-distance as she had to finish her studies in the Philippines. He moved to Hong Kong in 2016 and Kim always planned to move here too once they got married. The couple got engaged in late 2019 and had planned to get married in 2021 but due to Hong Kong’s strict COVID enforcements, they were forced to delay until February 2022, when they got married in Guam.

What were your general feelings about long-distance relationships before you entered one?

Fenela: I thought it could never work and never understood why couples would put themselves through so much when you could just find someone else near you.

PC: Fear and uncertainty were probably the big ones. The dynamic of your relationship will most likely have a 180° change. No one knows, not you, not them so it all boils down to trust, communication and planning ahead.

Abee: I’ve always loved hearing LDR success stories because (unfortunately!) they seemed quite rare… Before Z, I swore I wouldn’t get into any long-distance relationship. I always thought I wasn’t one of those people “built” to be in one. Never say never I guess!

Kim: I actually wasn’t a firm believer of LDRs so I was apprehensive to start one. I just knew that breaking up wasn’t an option and I would rather endure being physically apart versus not being together at all.

What were or are your thoughts during the long-distance relationship?

Fenela: It’s obviously really hard but that doesn’t mean that you just give up on someone you absolutely love — you’ve just got to keep going.

PC: It needs communication, trust and planning… You need to have a sit-down conversation with your partner about each other’s expectations and whether you can handle it; what would happen if the stresses of life (like work, family, friends etc.) arise, how they can be handled, what sort of support you’d need and could your partner provide this. LDRs, like all relationships, be it platonic or romantic, take work. Everything that’s good in your life comes from the effort you invest.

Abee: It’s not like I was miserable the entire time that we weren’t together. I still lived my life and he did too. We’d spend time with family and friends, and we’d have the occasional Messenger, FaceTime and Netflix Party dates. The worst part for me though was the waves of sadness (no thanks to PMS and hormones!) because there were times I heard a song, saw a meme or witnessed a couple having coffee, which may or may not have sent me into a spiral.

A: It’s really, really hard, especially during COVID when travel was curtailed. But I have to say, since my partner and I started dating at a very young age, I think long distance helped build our emotional connection. Long distance also allowed us to grow independently during our formative years but, luckily, we grew together and our shared values never wavered.

Kim: Long distance was without a doubt very tough. We were in perpetual countdowns until the next reunion and we couldn’t be together on many milestones. But a LDR had its own perks — while physically apart, we learned to grow as individuals first before fully committing ourselves to each other. We learned to be fully independent and more mature. Overall, throughout the ups and downs of our LDR, I just kept telling myself that it would be worth it in the end — and it definitely is.

Fenela: I think that it really is for the strongest and most loyal people because not everyone can do it.

Do you have any ground rules for your relationship?

F: We talk every day and hang out through Netflix Party (now Teleparty) at least once a week.

Abee: If I’m gonna be honest, we don’t really have any! We just play it by ear all the time. It’s a very low-maintenance relationship and I’ve realised that the more we tried to plan and schedule something, the more it doesn’t happen which leaves room for disappointment that nobody has time for. We message throughout the day just to update each other that we’re alive (kidding!) and the occasional Facetime calls if we’re both up for it.

Kim: We have a rule to constantly exercise kindness. One good thing about a LDR is that whenever we have disagreements, we have the physical distance to cool off and think rationally first.

Being physically apart can be emotionally taxing…

Fenela: My love language is physical touch so it can be really depressing not having my partner with me but he tries his best to reassure me.

PC: My partner knows me best, and that statement still stands; I don’t know anyone here who can compare to the emotional closeness I have with my partner. Alongside loneliness, I find myself finding it more difficult to share my life considering my partner wouldn’t “understand” since he doesn’t know the culture and the people and friends I’ve made. An eight-hour time difference also puts strain on our relationship; when he’s asleep, I’m awake, when I’m awake, he’s asleep. It’s hard to feel supported when you’re crying in your room, knowing very well your partner’s sound asleep 5,000 miles away.

Abee: In our case, it was frustrating that we couldn’t see each other when we were literally just a bridge away! Couples that had to fly to their significant others saw each other before we ever did (I’m still lowkey bitter about it!). But the worst part was the uncertainty of the whole situation. We had no idea how long the pandemic would go on. I definitely reached a point where I didn’t expect anything anymore so I wouldn’t feel disappointed.

A: The most difficult feeling for me is that of loneliness, especially on the weekends. When you see other couples on the weekends enjoying meals together at new restaurants or cafes. It’s upsetting that I can’t share that moment with my partner.

How do you spend quality time together virtually?

Fenela: We usually play games, watch something through Teleparty or use Discord.

PC: I don’t know if this is one but we made WhatsApp stickers of funny photos we took of each other on trips we went on together. We talk about anything on video call. We did try a lot of different apps but I think none of them really stuck. Just Zoom, watching anime together, WhatsApp and using Instagram to send reels.

Abee: Even though we don’t talk regularly, we take the time to discuss important matters or just to listen to each other’s frustrations. We made sure that we were as open and honest about our feelings as much as possible — the good, the bad and the ugly! We would have FaceTime or Messenger calls from time to time. If there was a series that we were both into, we’d watch it at the same time via Netflix Party (now Teleparty) while on a video call. We also send each other horrible selfies (haha!) and photos of food just to make each other jealous.

Kim: We would constantly communicate with each other — from greeting each other good morning to good night, and updating each other wherever we’d go out. We also had regular video calls on Zoom and Skype. We’d have virtual date nights too, like watching a Netflix movie at the same time.

What can you do when you’re physically apart to show support and consideration for your long-distance significant other?

Fenela: We use Snapchat to update each other through constant videos and pictures so it feels like we’re still part of each other’s lives, even from very far away.

PC: We mail each other things sometimes randomly. It doesn’t have to be large gifts or huge bouquets, just something small: little gifts; letters, plushies, message bottles full of affirmations.

A: I try to encourage my partner to go out with friends on the weekends and Friday evenings. I know a lot of couples argue over “Boy’s Nights Out” etc. but I personally find happiness in my partner’s happiness. So, I always encourage him to spend time with close friends so that he’s not alone. My partner sends me surprise gifts every now and then, which is lovely. He also gets food delivered to my office on nights I work late to make sure I take a break and eat.

To what extent do you agree that distance makes the heart grow fonder?

PC: It makes you really appreciate the time that you do have when you meet up with each other. And to fall in love with them all over again when you do. To see the little things that your partner does and remember how wonderful your person is. You forget how warm their hug is and how nice they smell.

A: I personally am not a believer in the saying “distance makes the heart grow fonder”. I choose my partner every day, whether physically together or in a long-distance relationship.

How do you handle disputes and disagreements when not seeing each other face-to-face?

Fenela: Whenever we have a disagreement or misunderstanding, we both have the mindset to never leave the conversation mad or frustrated. We always try to fix our misunderstandings as soon as possible to try not to make things worse.

Abee: Virtually and physically, we always give each other space whenever things get heated just to avoid escalating it even further. We let each other cool off and then discuss things rationally the following day.

What’s the most creative date you’ve had virtually?

Fenela: Spotify music sessions are really nice because sometimes you don’t have the words to express your feelings and playing each other’s music is a really cool way to communicate.

A: A cooking date! We had a chef off.

Do you visit each other often?

Fenela: Right now isn’t really the best time for us to meet because of school but we plan to visit each other during the holidays.

Abee: We do now actually! We see each other almost every week. We alternate on who crosses the border but there’s no fixed schedule.

A: Yes, three times a year for a week at a time, at least. We’ve been travelling around Asia at the moment; meeting in Vietnam and Indonesia.

Kim: Back when we were dating, we would see each other about three to four times a year, whether it’s where we resided (Hong Kong or the Philippines) or vacationing in other countries like Australia, Japan or Taiwan.

Do you have advice you’d give anyone considering a long-distance relationship?

Fenela: Long distance works but pick the right person to do it with. If you do, it won’t feel tiring or draining.

PC: Make sure you sit down and talk about expectations.

Abee: After everything I’ve been through and knowing what I know now, I think that you really need to do a deep dive of self-reflection to know if you’re the type of person that can handle a long-distance relationship. Possibly controversial but I think that not everyone is built for it. I don’t think there’s any harm in trying but it’s really gonna test you as individuals and as a couple. You really have to ask yourself if this is something not just you’re ready for but willing to work on.

A: Always plan the next thing to look forward to together.

Kim: To those doing LDRs, the goodbyes are the hardest part but I can tell you that it makes every physical moment worthwhile. My husband and I haven’t been in a LDR for over a year now but every time one of us travels out of the country, each reunion feels just as good as the first one. Two core things helped us: strength and maturity. Constantly saying goodbye to your partner is no joke so you’ll need that strength and stamina to endure those painful moments. Maturity also plays an important role because you’ll need to understand and respect your own lives in your respective countries. A LDR can work! It was tough but oh so worth it.

Any final thoughts?

Fenela: Don’t buy long-distance couple gadgets. They’re trash.

Abee: At the end of the day, maintaining a LDR is a choice. It’s very easy to look the other way but if you truly want to make it work, you have to choose that person as soon as you wake up and before you go to bed.

Editor’s Note: Like what you read? We’re always looking for more people to share their thoughts and stories (whether you’re in a relationship or not!). Reach out to us at editorial@sassyhongkong.com

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Hong Kong Dating Stories: LGBTQI+ Scene — Pride Month Special

Sakina Abidi — Tue, 13 Jun 2023 22:00:24 +0000

Our “Hong Kong Dating Stories” Pride Month special looks at the city’s LGBTQI+ dating scene.

In our third instalment, a Pride Month special, we’re talking to Hongkongers and Hong Kong-based people of any age and relationship length from the LGBTQI+ community (emphasising marginalised gender identities and sexualities) about the city’s “LGBTQI+ dating scene.”

Read More: Sassy Supports – Pink Alliance

What are your thoughts about Hong Kong’s LGBTQI+ dating scene?

Bry Bry, he/him, 27 — is gay and currently single:

It…. exists? In other words, it is quite common to hear of people dating, hooking up and in relationships — which I think is a win for the LGBTQI+ community! From my experience and other people’s stories, dates are arranged almost always through dating apps. Although I personally would like to embrace tradition and meet guys more often in person!

Benny, he/him, 30 — is also gay and has recently gotten out of a relationship. He met his ex online and they were together (officially) for a year and three months:

Hmm, honestly? Quite abysmal. Extremely shallow. For gay men at least. Substance comes second, or even third or fourth to what the person looks like. The LGBTQI+ dating scene favours those with abs or a hot body. Not to diss my own community but I think we can openly admit that it’s not the greatest. What doesn’t help too is that Hong Kong is quite small so it’s a niche community, and the LGBTQI+ community is even smaller.

Anon, she/her — is bisexual:

Very incestuous. LGBT people tend to group around similar interests.

Jibreel, he/him, 21 — is gay and has been seeing someone for one year:

It’s hyper-sexualized. Dating apps like Grindr emphasize more on sex rather than romance, which eventually becomes the sole purpose of finding other men: just to fulfil certain carnal needs without actually getting to know the person.

Even the way the community expresses itself is hyper-sexualised, with phallic references and symbols everywhere [in gay bars and at drag shows]. It becomes confusing. The whole point of community is to look out for one another, not trashing someone for “not being gay enough” (because they don’t watch Drag Race or drink alcohol and choose not to be promiscuous).

It’s also toxic, extremely selective, racially segregating and/or includes immense racial fetishization. Basically, the only way to be generally accepted in terms of dating someone from the community is to be conventionally hot (muscular, tall, masculine, straight-passing).

What have your experiences dating in Hong Kong been like?

Bry Bry: I have to admit, serious dating was never something I truly considered when I moved to Hong Kong. Historically, I’m more of a “fling type” of guy, which has worked out well! And as in any big city, [in Hong Kong] you can meet people from many parts of the globe, which can be quite spicy.

Benny: Get comfy. Dating in Hong Kong truly ranges from the most wholesome of dates to the “dirtiest” of nights, if you catch my drift. You meet truly every kind of character. You meet nice people and the rudest. Those who are humble, those who are arrogant. You’re constantly surprised and you’re also constantly disappointed.

When you do find the “gems”, it’s always a nice feeling to know that it isn’t all that bad and that there is someone for you. Like, not all guys are jerks. There’s… hope. There are many success stories, and there are a lot of unfortunate, not-so-happy endings. But I guess that’s just dating in general, am I right?

Anon: There is some conservative opposition. Once, when discussing problems I encountered in my own relationship, a friend (also in an LGBT relationship, and who found her partner through local LGBT dating sites!) told me that it’s actually common to hear of people exploring things with a queer partner for quite a few years but ultimately breaking things off for a heterosexual marriage, leaving the other party a little blindsided.

Jibreel: Terrible. Most of the experiences have been purely sexual where after the sex, there’s usually post-nut clarity and an indirect pressure to immediately leave the person’s home since there’s no use for me being there anymore. In terms of racial fetishisation, there was one man who really liked “the smell of South Asians” because apparently, “the pheromones smelled more like testosterone.” My whole interaction with him made me feel more like a meal rather than an actual human being. I’ve also seen several dating site bios that openly state they don’t want to receive messages from brown or black men.

It’s far more common for people in the LGBTQI+ community to turn to online platforms and apps to form connections — both platonic and romantic.

Benny: Absolutely. It’s much harder for people in the LGBTQI+ community to meet people organically as there’s this constant “worry” in our mind that the person we’re speaking to is homophobic (when meeting straight people) or whether they’re interested in us. I guess it’s that constant battle of “wanting to be accepted.”

I know that some people seek comfort online because they’re not ready yet to form connections yet in person; there could be many reasons for this. Perhaps they’re simply not ready, or they have not come to terms with who they are, or want to keep an extremely low profile, it could be anything. But yes, it’s definitely more common for people in the LGBTQI+ community to form connections online.

Jibreel: Yes, because it’s also a way for us to stay anonymous in case we are closeted and don’t want to reveal too much information about ourselves. It serves as a safety mechanism — to hide behind a computer screen but still have access to other people and form safer connections virtually, rather than face-to-face which could have worse risks.

How about you in particular — have you ever used a dating app?

Bry Bry: I’ve used Tinder and Grindr.

Benny: I’ve tried Grindr, Tinder, Coffee Meets Bagel, Scruff and Jack’d. Definitely more on the gay apps.

Anon: Nope!

Jibreel: Yes, Grindr. I hate it. At some point, it became an addiction for me for two years because that was how I gained external validation — through sex. The app is problematic because, unlike Tinder, anyone can message you from anywhere at any time. They can send unsolicited pictures and make remarks about your face and body, even though they themselves may not show their face on their bios.

What are some of the memorable experiences you’ve had on or through a dating app?

Bry Bry: What I find most memorable would be the variety of races, cultures and personalities that I have met through dating apps.

Benny: It’s safe to say gay men have seen too many headless torsos and unsolicited dirty photos in one lifetime.

Jibreel: One of my most memorable experiences was hooking up with a very attractive man who claimed he was a complete ‘heterosexual’ but didn’t do very straight things with me. He was on drugs and he seemed to really enjoy the experience but I later found out he was married and that he was just exploring this side of him. It had “nothing to do with homosexuality,” which greatly confused me.

Do you think it’s easier to meet queer people online rather than offline in Hong Kong?

Bry Bry: Yes.

Anon: No.

Benny: Definitely. Hong Kong still hasn’t caught up with some parts of the world in terms of how the LGBTQI+ community is viewed. To this day, I hear Hongkongers having issues with the LGBTQI+ community. So being out and loud can cause issues in Hong Kong — it’s best to do it online in an avenue where you can meet people that are like you.

Jibreel: For sure, as I said before, it serves as a safety mechanism for us to channel what we really want to say, but with a layer of protection since we don’t have to show our true selves as we can hide behind a computer screen. Plus, since we’re a sexual minority, it’s generally much harder to find people from the LGBT+ community, so when algorithms can narrow down that scope via dating apps, it makes it much easier to find our niche and connect with people through that.

What are some of the places and communities — online, offline or a mix of both — where you can find other queer people in Hong Kong?

Editor’s Note: Some of the examples we gave included Mum’s Not Home, Madame Quad, Queer Reads Library, T:me, Petticoat Lane, BING BING 兵兵, Eaton HK, The Pontiac and FLM!

Bry Bry: Please tell me! I’m keen to venture to these places and meet new people there!

Jibreel: I don’t go to any bars though I have heard of cruising spots around Hong Kong like Kowloon Park and the large forest park in Fwai Fong. I don’t engage with online communities either.

Do you see any representation around you?

Bry Bry: In terms of sexual preferences, yes, there is representation around me. Though I only ever meet a handful outside of dating apps, so a large majority of relationships I pursue would be through dating apps unless I stumble upon an event or party where LGBTQI+ members will be or are in attendance.

Benny: I do, but it’s never in Hong Kong. It’s usually online when someone gay overseas (usually something in the entertainment industry or on social media) “succeeds” or goes viral for a good reason. It doesn’t really impact how I approach both platonic or romantic relationships because to me, being gay is a part of who I am but it’s not who I am as a whole.

Anon: I find “media representation” a problematic Western liberal concept, and deliberately try not to let it impact my approach to relationships. Representation in the form of actual people (like friends I know, whose struggles I have witnessed) impacts me much more — they give me a different perspective on the nuances of being LGBT and Asian, which ultimately helps me figure out my own stance on certain things in my own relationships.

Jibreel: No intersectional representation. Most Hong Kong queers are either expats so they’re mostly Caucasian or ethnically Chinese. This impacts my queer experiences because there’s a lack of representation of my race, and certain people don’t feel comfortable being sexually or romantically open with me.

How about at home?

Bry Bry: My family lives outside Hong Kong, and I am the only member of my family (including extended family) living in Hong Kong, which does allow me to freely explore these kinds of relationships. I consider myself very close to my family, and am fortunate that they are accepting of my identity and who I choose for a partner.

Benny: My parents don’t know about me being gay and I act completely different in front of them. I know how they perceive and feel about the gay community and it would cause unnecessary stress, drama and friction if I told them about me being gay. I actually decided at a very young age that I would keep them separated from anything that has to do with being gay because it’s just better that way; no one gets hurt. I kept my relationships away from my parents. Besides, my relationships are or were for me and my partner. I honestly didn’t feel or see the need to include my parents in it.

Jibreel: My family doesn’t know about it. Culture ties in with religion and my religion condemns it so it’s considered to be completely forbidden.

And your friends?

Bry Bry: My friends are my friends for many reasons, and I am forever grateful that all my friends, most of whom fall outside the community, are accepting of my identity. Coming out to friends was exactly how I imagined it, and the result was exactly what I wanted. I am usually a source for new dating stories which seem to entertain my friends.

Benny: I choose my friends carefully. So most of them know from the get-go and are extremely fine with it because I’m not necessarily hiding anything and I know that the people I interact with would be okay with it. The second I know that someone is being judgmental or is uncomfortable with the fact that I’m gay, I simply don’t interact with them. Shout out to my lovely and amazing friends!

Anon: I once told a friend I was dating my same-sex partner and she laughed very uncomfortably, asked whether that meant romantically interested in her [my friend] too and tried to sit further away. I said, “you wish.”

To be honest, I think as long as you have the courage of your own convictions, Hong Kong is a great place to do whatever you want. Even though that was a slightly infuriating episode for me, I respect my friends’ cultural upbringing that made her see things this way, and I still have enough power as an LGBT person [here] to do whatever I want despite the societal disapproval she represents. If the balance of power changed (for example if LGBT rights were eroded past a certain point in Hong Kong), I’m sure I would feel very differently.

Jibreel: Certain friends know about it and they’re super supportive and accepting. Dating hasn’t affected any of my friendships as I’ve learnt to balance them both in my own way. A memorable coming-out experience was probably the first person I came out to who was my best friend at the time. I couldn’t say it out loud so I wrote it out on a piece of paper and filmed her reaction which turned out to be super funny, since she was really shocked (we had known each other for 15 years!).

And finally, do you have anything else you’d like to share about dating as a member of the LGBTQI+ community in Hong Kong?

Jibreel: It’s definitely a lot more strict than for straight people as everything has labels. Whether you’re a top or bottom, a twink or a hunk, these labellings divide people more than they unite which becomes very problematic. It’s also sad that the entire community [tends to be] grouped as one, as a trans person’s experience in life could be completely different from that of a gay person.

Bry Bry: You may not always get what you want, but that can be said for anyone! If there is something I would like to evolve, it’s how members of the LGBTQI+ community meet and socialise. While apps are easy and accessible, we should aim for having a plethora of other mediums to meet people (and keep away from our phones!). Finding the right person is tricky, so try your best to enjoy the journey!

Benny: I think I’ve shared a gist of what it’s like to date as a member of the LGBTQI+ community. My views are simply my own and don’t necessarily resonate with or represent the whole community. It really is different for everyone and I think whether you’re in the LGBTQI+ community or not, just have fun! Dating doesn’t have to be so serious. Just don’t hurt yourself or anyone else (aka, don’t be a jerk) and you’re good to go!

The post Hong Kong Dating Stories: LGBTQI+ Scene — Pride Month Special appeared first on Sassy Hong Kong.

Hong Kong Dating Stories: Online Dating

Sakina Abidi — Thu, 20 Apr 2023 22:02:07 +0000

We’re back with another “Hong Kong Dating Stories”, this time looking at dating apps and online platforms, the successful — and not-so-successful — virtual relationships that became in-person couple origin stories, and more…

In this dating stories series, we look at the city’s singles, couples and Hong Kong’s dating scene, what our personal and romantic relationships are like and how our upbringing here and abroad has made a difference in the way we view and build them. In our second instalment, we’re talking to Hongkongers and Hong Kong-based people — of any age, relationship length, gender identity and sexuality — about dating using online platforms! Whether it’s a dating-focused app or website, connecting in some way online (like on a forum!) or simply using a regular social media platform to date (guilty!), here’s what they had to say.

What’s your general opinion on online dating?

B, 34 — Chinese, from the UK, Hong Kong-based, has been using some version of a dating app for the past seven years:
It’s a good way to meet people when you don’t have the time or the ability to do that offline. It can be easier to approach or talk to someone with the protection of a screen.

JC, 25 — Chinese, from Hong Kong, has a significant other they met on Coffee Meets Bagel. They’ve been together for over two years now:
I think online dating is a good option for people to meet as long as you go into it with a very casual and low-stakes mindset — it should not make or break you or your life.

Anonymous, 25 — Indian, from Hong Kong, opened an account on a dating app six years ago:
I have really mixed emotions about online dating. I either really enjoy it or really, really hate it. Probably 98 percent of my dates were through an online connection.

I’ve used Tinder, Bumble, Hinge — and Coffee Meets Bagel (for about five seconds before I deleted it). I’ve spoken to and met some absolute characters and some I wish I could just forget. But it makes for funny stories to tell. I have also truly met some really great people on these apps. So let’s say 70 percent good, 30 percent not-so-good.

Mash, 26 — Pakistani, from Hong Kong, has a significant other they met on Tinder. They’re married and have been together for seven years now:
It’s a great way to meet new people but can also be mentally and emotionally draining.

KA, 26 — Indian, from Hong Kong, has a significant other they met through Instagram. They’re engaged and have been together for two years now:
When I was trying out dating apps, I saw a lot of internet discourse online for the first time about “situationships” and virtual talking stages. Honestly, I never made it that far — I just ended up both reconnecting with old flings and meeting new people through friends of friends IRL.

On Tinder…

B: I met some great people on it who became long-term partners but equally found people looking purely for hook-ups. The app is what it is and I have never been disappointed in it — just some of the men I have spoken to on it.

A: When I was at uni, I feel like Tinder was my number one go-to dating app. I never really took dating seriously in the sense of looking for anything long-term and Tinder is great for that. There’s an unspoken understanding that Tinder is the hook-up app of the lot.

M: Tinder used to be exciting and very efficient — I stopped using it once I met my significant other so I think a lot has changed over the years. It was just that one rare online connection on Tinder that happened to be my life partner!

And other dating apps…

B: I probably wouldn’t use Happn again, there’s something a little too real about how it informs people around you of your presence. Bumble is touted as more for relationships than hook-ups but the guys in my experience have never wanted more than a one-night stand. Coffee Meets Bagel was okay, I met a long-term partner on it but on the whole, I wasn’t invested in the app.

Hinge is probably the one I like the most. I enjoy the prompts that force most people to provide an answer, I like that you can see a range of people over and over again — unlike the swipe left and lose them forever aspect of other apps — and I did meet a long-term partner on it. I would probably say it attracts a calibre of people who are a little more relationship-minded.

JC: I technically have a 100 percent success rate since I only physically met with one person from Coffee Meets Bagel and ended up properly dating them. Coffee Meets Bagel seems to be for people who want a more serious and “wholesome” dating experience. Bumble is a step down from the seriousness of CMB and people on the platform are generally more open to casual relationships or even just friendships. But it sometimes feels annoying that the app depends on the woman to initiate the conversation.

A: I’ve genuinely met some really great people on Bumble. It took me some time to get used to the whole ‘girls message first’ thing because I usually forget that the app even exists and then the match expires. I’m now more comfortable with the concept but even then I don’t open the app often so the 24-hour match can be a bit tricky.

KA: I’m really not experienced with online dating — I did try to download a few apps, including Tinder, Bumble and even Muzz (formerly muzmatch) after I graduated from university (and my dating pool obviously suddenly shrunk) but I was honestly very terrible and used them like a little swiping game on my phone.

The most surreal experience I’ve had on a dating app?

B: In his first message, a guy straight up asked me if I liked anal. I did not consider that first message material if I’m honest.

KA: I matched with this guy, who I never met up with because he spent the majority of the first messages to me insisting I wasn’t Indian and that I shouldn’t be offended because I didn’t “look like your neighbourhood next-door Indian”. He was a Persian from Canada so I don’t know what was going on there. I’m usually identified as Indo-Pak both in real life and online by other South Asians and I’ve even gotten voice recording messages in Hindi-Urdu – despite never writing anywhere that I could understand the language.

And a not-so-great experience I’ve had that included a dating app was when I matched with a friend of a friend I’d seen once in real life. I remembered him, he didn’t remember me but we met up. I hadn’t paid close attention to our Bumble profiles but he had — he knew my age and that I was going to be taller than him. I asked him how old he was but the next time we met up, he confessed he’d lied. It doesn’t sound that bad — but “agefishing” is really icky, and I couldn’t shake off how horrible it made me feel for the next few weeks. I still see him around but I don’t speak to him.

The generations above me think…

B: My parent’s generation doesn’t like or understand the concept of online dating. If we’re talking about Gen X’s view however, I think it is not much different to how I, a Millennial, view dating platforms except I believe it is more than the home of hook-up culture — I know real relationships can and have been created on them.

JC: Online dating is unsafe and “unethical” to some degree, based on some thoughts I have heard from my mother.

A: I want to say I’m probably more open to online dating than the generation above but I also feel like that line is a bit more blurred now. I had friends in uni who are my age and are very anti-dating apps. To each their own.

And the generation below me…

B: They form parasocial relationships so hard and fast on social media that I don’t think the idea of dating platforms phases them at all.

JC: I’ve heard about them having purely online relationships for long periods of time before ever physically meeting the other person. And I think they’re much more comfortable with meeting people online in general, through Instagram and Snapchat; not necessarily dating apps.

If I had to tell a friend about dating apps…

B: I’d recommend Hinge for people seriously looking for a relationship, Tinder for hooking up or both but no one app will ever be one or the other.

And finally, I’d say

B: Dating platforms are great, to be honest. They can be terrible for your self-esteem and the whole dating experience can be soul-crushing — but even so, the apps aren’t so bad. I’ve met some truly wonderful men and some absolutely awful ones thanks to the apps but that would easily happen if I’d met them in real life. The apps open up the pool a lot more, that’s all.

A: Dating apps are fun and I don’t think they should be taken too seriously. Just have fun with it and be safe. If you’re going on a date with a new date — share your location with your friends!

KA: My most successful relationship is actually due to an online connection on a very regular social media platform. I was following my now-fiancé on Instagram for over a year, literally replied to one of his stories, he saw it, followed me back and we became friends. We started seeing each other romantically a few months later. Meeting up for the first time in real life was so scary, I worried about it for weeks. I was so sure it was going to be weird and terrible but it wasn’t! It was a risk that really paid off.

I feel like I don’t have a concrete opinion on dating, because I tend to make friends with someone and then catch feelings. Dating apps just seem like an extension of a not-so-great in-real-life dating pool. I think it’s scary — but I think the dating scene is also scary. Strangers? No background checks? Men? All scary stuff, online and off.

The post Hong Kong Dating Stories: Online Dating appeared first on Sassy Hong Kong.

The Orgasm Gap: What Is It And How Can I Close It?

Sara Tang — Thu, 02 Mar 2023 22:00:16 +0000

Orgasms gaps exist in committed relationships, hookups and casual sex. Sex coach, Sara Tang shares tips on how to bridge the orgasm gap…

The orgasm gap, or pleasure gap, refers to the general disparity in sexual satisfaction between cisgender men and women – more specifically, the fact that women orgasm less than men during sexual interactions. Studies have shown that only 55% of women (as compared to 95% of men) are likely to have an orgasm during a sexual encounter. This gap widens with casual hook-ups and is typically narrower in committed relationships.

There are many reasons why the gap exists, a big factor being cultural ignorance surrounding the clitoris and the prioritisation of penetrative sex. Ahead, we dig deeper into the issue and what we can do to close the orgasm gap.

Bridging The Orgasm Gap: Prioritisation Of Male Pleasure

What do you picture when you hear the word “sex”? For many, heterosexual sex equates to penetrative intercourse, while clitoral stimulation (women’s most common means of orgasm) is often downplayed as foreplay.

This social construct, in part, exists because of the way sex is usually portrayed in mainstream media and porn (i.e. women appearing to have mind-blowing orgasms from penetrative intercourse). However, the fact of the matter is that 70-80% of women are unable to orgasm through penetration alone as it does not provide enough clitoral stimulation.

Women are simply not stimulated enough from just penetrative intercourse.

As a sex coach, this is the first thing I explain to female clients who are feeling disappointed or “broken” when orgasms seem elusive during penetrative sex. I reassure them that it’s likely they are simply not being stimulated in a way that works for them.

The Stud Vs Slut Narrative

Another cultural problem that contributes to the orgasm gap is the tendency for society to judge women more harshly than men for engaging in casual sex. Why is it that men are often admired for their many sexual conquests, whereas women are expected to protect their virtue and purity?

A double standard that holds women back from exploring their bodies and sexuality

This “stud vs slut” narrative seems to be prevalent among the more conservative societies in Asia, making it harder for them to advocate for their own pleasure – to ask for what they want. Many heterosexual women tend to feel a sense of duty or responsibility to please their male partner and in turn, neglect to focus on their own needs and desires.

So How Can We Close The Orgasm Gap?

The best way to fix the problem is for people to get educated on the topic. Many of us received a terribly limited sex education growing up that focused on reproduction and glossed over pleasure. In order to close the gap, it’s important for us all to get more familiar with the ins and outs of female sexuality and pleasure.

The social practices around sex is also something that needs to be changed. Women need to learn how to be better at asking for what they want and communicating to their partners what gives them pleasure. Attending an online coaching programme, such as my Better in Bed Foundations course, is a great way for women to get in touch with their own sexuality and break out of patterns that result in unfulfilling, lacklustre sex.

Read More: How To Love Your Vulva

Redefine Sex

Another way to close the orgasm gap is to change how sex is defined. Sex isn’t just about intercourse, it’s about all forms of pleasure and play that brings enjoyment to both parties involved. This means putting just as much effort into providing external stimulation as internal stimulation.

While this may seem counter-intuitive in an article discussing the orgasm gap, less focus should be put on the “goal” of orgasm so both partners can relax and enjoy themselves in whatever way brings them pleasure.

Know What You Want

The women who are most likely to ensure they orgasm with a partner are those who know how get there on their own. How else will you teach someone else how you like it? I encourage anyone with a vulva to take responsibility for their own pleasure and make sure you get it, rather than hoping for it.

The key to understanding what turns you on or off and knowing exactly how you (and your clitoris) like to be stimulated is masturbation. If you’ve never used a sex toy before, you don’t need to be intimidated. There are many simple bullet-style vibrators that allow you to experience direct clitoral stimulation, and they are handy to have around either for a solo session or even when things are heating up with a partner.

That said, a huge amount of the female arousal and pleasure happens in the mind. So it’s important to put aside any worry about whether your partner is enjoying himself or if you will climax. This type of mental chatter draws you out of the moment and can make it difficult to experience the heights of pleasure.

Ask For What You Want

Don’t be afraid to let your partner know what you enjoy and what you need in order to climax. It’s a great idea to have extended foreplay sessions (I like to call them play sessions) that forego the penetrative element, to give you both a chance to learn what the other likes.

It’s okay to make requests to a partner such as slowing down the pace, directing them to give you more clitoral stimulation, or even pausing so you can reach for a sex toy. Most partners want to please you, so help them by telling them what you need.

And if you’re not feeling it that night, just let them know that you don’t think you’ll orgasm – never fake it. Even if it feels easier to do so. By faking an orgasm, you send the message that whatever your partner is doing is working, which will result in them doing the same unfulfilling things repeatedly.

Advice For The Guys

Don’t take it personally if your partner didn’t orgasm from penetration. Ensure she is getting a healthy amount of direct clitoral stimulation instead, whether manually, orally or with the help of a vibrator.

Slow things down to build tension and arousal. Most women need a longer time to build-up from arousal to climax than men, so be patient. Instead of heading straight for the genitals, start by stimulating the rest of her body. Maybe try a simple massage to ensure she’s relaxed and focused on your touch, rather than other things going on in her day.

Be attentive to what she needs. Approach talking about sex away from the bedroom when the pressure is off, and then check in again during sex with a “Like this?” or “How does this feel?” during. But just be wary that too many questions can take your partner out of the moment. Don’t assume that every woman enjoys the same things. Sex isn’t a one-size-fits-all type of activity.

Find The Balance

At the heart of every great sexual relationship is consistent communication, mutual respect and a balance of giving and receiving pleasure. As long as you approach every sexual encounter with the knowledge that each party deserves equal enjoyment from this experience, you and your partner are much more likely to have a satisfying sex life.

Read More: Could Sex Help You Sleep Better?

Editor’s Note: “The Orgasm Gap: What Is It And How Can I Close It?” was first published in October 2020 and was most recently updated in March 2023 by Team Sassy.

The post The Orgasm Gap: What Is It And How Can I Close It? appeared first on Sassy Hong Kong.